Education Shouldn’t Cost You Your Life

School Can Either Save You or Break You

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And if it’s trying to break you, here’s how we resist.
This letter is for the student holding everything in.
The one who’s still showing up, even when no one asks if you’re okay.
The one writing papers in pain, sitting in classrooms that don’t see you.
You are not alone. You are not weak. You are not the only one.
You are enough.
 
Dear Daughter, Dear Granddaughter: What I Wish Every Student Knew When It Gets Hard
To the student holding it all in,
Maybe you’re far from home, pretending you’re okay because your family sacrificed so much to get you here. Maybe you’re older than your classmates and already feel like you don’t belong. Maybe you’re sleeping on someone’s couch—or in your car—because housing support fell through and there’s no safety net beneath you.
Maybe you haven’t told anyone yet. Maybe you can’t.
If that’s you, I want to tell you something I wish someone had told me: you are not the only one.
I know the silence can be loud. The shame, even louder. I know what it’s like to write papers in tears, to sit in classrooms where no one sees you, to be too exhausted to explain why you’re late—again.
And still, you’re here. You’re showing up.
That is not weakness. That is strength beyond measure.
 
I’ve lived long enough to know that school can both save you and break you. That sometimes the system praises your potential while starving your soul. That faculty can speak of equity while ignoring suffering that unfolds in plain view.
I’ve seen students lose their housing, their health, their hope.
I’ve buried students who didn’t make it. I’ve held ones who almost didn’t. I’ve sat alone on benches in family housing, wondering if anyone would care if I disappeared.
And now I’m still here—writing this—for you.

So let me say it plainly:
•    If you are hungry, tired, and scared, you deserve support—not shame.

•    If you are grieving, and no one asked how you’re doing, that’s not your fault.

•    If you feel like quitting, know this: you are not a failure. You are a fighter.
 

Ask for help—even when it’s hard.
Rest—even when others keep going.
And remember: the goal is not to pass for strong. The goal is to make it through with your spirit intact.
You are not alone.
You are not too much.
You are enough.
With love and solidarity,
Carla Rodney
Founder, Grandma Knows Best
PhD Candidate, Social Justice Education
University of Toronto
 
Need support? Visit www.grandmaknowsbest.org or find a local community care space. You matter.